i'm getting super antsy to get back to school. yes, i am sick of crystal lake, but it's gotten to be so boring. i am happy that i reconnected with some people i haven't seen since graduation. it was a lot of fun. i was happy to see that people can grow up and actually change for the good. i'm also a little nervous about going back to urbana, but i am ecstatic about seeing all my friends. i will be living on my own (meaning not in my parents house), feeding myself, cleaning up an area larger than a jail cell, paying bills and all this other grown up/adult stuff. i would like to point out that i am still a teenager. i don't want to grow up. granted there are only 14 days left of my teendom.
i am excited about this school year. not for any particular reason, i mean, come on, i am returning to krannert. i'm just trying to go in with a positive attitude that i will do well, i won't screw up a ton, and i will have fun doing so. even though i don't really want to quite enter into adulthood yet, i would like to be treated as such when it comes to the theatre department. i always get this feeling that i'm being patronized, and it would be truly fantastic if it ceased. i'm serious. i don't appreciate being talked at (not to mind you) like i'm 4 years old. i'm not holding my breath for this though.
i want to make my apartment nice. i want to decorate. i want it to become some place i don't want to leave to come home (crystal lake) to. i don't need some super swanky, ultra-mod, uber hip bachelorette pad, although i did just purchase some sweet sheets that would fit the theme, i just want it to be some place i am comfortable in at all times.
i'm living with someone that i don't know extremely well. i think that this could work out for the best actually. it's like living with some randomly assigned roommate, but you just happen to know them, in a less confined environment. it will be good. she's a nice, quiet, clean, fun girl. it will work.
i want to have some kind of party for my birthday, but it would have to be a few weeks postponed, because i don't think jenn would appreciate a bunch of strangers in our apt the first weekend back to school. perhaps we can have a nice night out instead. who's in? p.s. presents are a fantastic thing. especially to a girl whose birthday is oft forgotten. (hopefully this play of the pity card works. ;D ).
so my last entry was me upset at a friend of many years turning into quite the dick (at least to me) this past summer. i basically decided that it wasn't worth me busting my ass to be a great friend of convenience. well anyway, i had a nice chat with this person. i got an apology and a sort of explanation. i made this person to feel like an asshole, and i don't regret that. i think they needed that, and me not trying to be their friend back, to see what they would be missing. i'm still in a defensive mode, a kind of 'i'll believe it when i see it' state. i'm way too forgiving, but it's hard when you've been friends for years.
so this is my "vow" for this upcoming school year; i will freak out less about little things. i will try harder. i will be more outgoing. i will not lose contact with friends. i will reconnect with people i have drifted from. i will attempt to improve my posture. i will try to work out often. i will have fun. this is me trying to turn over a new leaf. i'm going to need some help, so if you see me slip into my old bad habits, kick me in the ass.
i love you guys.